A
Sermon for Live Oak UU Church & Other UU Congregations
By:
Mary K. Isaacs & Kathleen Bryant, August
2001
MARY
K.
What do the following people have in common? Dorothy
in The Wizard of Oz, Luke Skywalker, Julie of the Wolves, Jesus, the slave Jim in
Huckleberry Finn, and Frodo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings. Any guesses?
They are all heroes in the classical sense, as described by Joseph Campbell in his 1948
book The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Campbell
examined hundreds myths and legends from all over the world, and concluded that they're
mostly variations on a few themes. The hero
myth was one, and Campbell concluded that hero myths occur through thousands of years and
in hundreds of cultures because they are "a vast and amazingly constant statement of
the basic truths by which man has lived throughout the millenniums of his residence on the
planet."
So what does a hero's quest have to do with coming of age?
Well, actually, it has a lot to do with it. When
I started reading about coming of age programs, a consistent theme emerged: many successful programs were based directly on
Joseph Campbell's research, and ALL of them were in parts that could be mapped directly to
the stages of a hero's journey as described by Campbell.
This is tremendously powerful: describing
the process of growing up in terms that are empowering rather than frightening,
explanatory rather than pathologizing. How we
describe something colors the way we think about it ? a terrific example of that comes
from David Oldfield, a minister and the creator of a successful coming of age program in
Washington, D.C. He writes, ?(T)he first
stage in a hero's experience is a call to adventure, leaving the known world for the
unknown, where the great adventure awaits. The
first adolescent crisis is also one of separation?
Now this was very interesting to me, especially when I began to notice that most of
the troubled youths I was working with suffered from what our professionals call
separation anxiety. I gradually came to see
this as their "call to adventure," similar to what happens to a hero. ? (J)ust
ask yourself this: Would you rather suffer
from "separation anxiety" or would you prefer to be "called to
adventure"?
Here are some of the stages of a hero's quest as documented by Joseph Campbell. While you listen to them, think about the
teenagers you know: First the hero is Called
to Adventure, not always gladly or willingly, but it can't be refused, and after beginning
the hero can't quit. The adventurer begins
the Initiation by embarking on a Road of Trials. Usually
there's a teacher or Mentor ? the hero gets help from surprising sources. But the way is difficult and dangerous. There are temptations to delay or abandon the
quest, and sometimes that works for a while.
The hero is self-questioning and self-doubting, especially when things are really dark,
wondering What am I doing here? Can all this
really be worth it? even Am I up to this at all? Finally, the hero accomplishes his or her aim,
usually after having to face the Possibility of Death, and emerges Transformed. The hero then returns to the world and must share
the gifts he or she has learned or won.
Think of the power of looking at our teenagers as embarking on hero quests rather than
"being rebellious"! How grounding
to ask from the beginning what he or she will bring to the world! And how encouraging to the young person to think
that after working through so many difficulties and challenges in growing up, they will
have benefited in a way they can share with their world.
KATHLEEN
There's a new worldwide hero, one that surfaced just in the last few years, that almost
everybody recognizes. Let's see if you can
identify this person:
This person was born to privilege, but was banished under mysterious circumstances to live
in poverty and misery for many years. Then,
this person is propelled into a different world, sent to an utterly new environment, has
to face enormous challenges, dangers, and hostility, is befriended and helped by several
mentors, and eventually braves injury and possible death to accomplish worthy aims. After all this was survived, this person, now
proven, returns and is heralded and celebrated.
The person is changed, is more knowledgeable, powerful, and confident, with a new view of
the world and self, and a much clearer idea of what the person's place in the world will
be.
Can you guess who it is? A hint: it's an international sensation. Another: this modern myth has changed the publishing
industry. Another: coming in November to a
motion picture studio near you! That's right: Harry Potter.
It's no wonder we love him so much ? his story fits right in with successful myths
throughout recorded history.Harry still has a lot to learn.
He's definitely still a kid. He has
temper tantrums where he inflates his horrible aunt and leaves her floating, shrieking,
bouncing on the ceiling like a huge balloon. He
does get punished sometimes, but not as often as you'd think. But he also has teachers, and he's getting more
powerful and learning better control all the time.
The Hogwarts Magic School is providing Harry's magical training, but his coming-of-age
he's doing the classical way: through
mentoring, difficult challenges, danger, transformation, return and celebration. He has helpers, but just as in most hero myths,
and just as in real life, he has to do the real work himself. It's hard work, but if it were easier, the
accomplishment would seem less. And when
Harry triumphs over evil - or over himself - we triumph with him. We feel bigger and more powerful, just from
reading the story.
My life is a story, too. I feel like I've
come a very long way in finding my self, my truth, and I've started to put that truth into
practice. I still have a long way to go, but
it makes me very optimistic to think that I'm farther along than my mother was at my age.
MARY
K.
My brother Joe has converted to Reform Judaism - not a far leap from the Unitarianism he
grew up in, except for the Hebrew. In talking
about the Bar or Bat Mitzvah for Jewish young people, Joe said, "It is the time when
children become full participating members of the community and are held accountable for
their own actions under Jewish law, instead of their parents." Now this is at age 13 for boys, 12 for girls. My brother spoke of the value of the instruction
preceding the ceremony saying, "It's hard to succeed at something without knowing the
measure of success ? without someone saying 'This is what we expect of you.'"
I think he hit on a critical point. A great
deal of the value of coming of age programs, and why ALL the successful ones, without
exception, require significant parental participation, is that the important adults in the
youth's life are helping to make it more clear what a successful adult is.
Now this is not, as many of you are thinking, in defiance of the primary UU tenet that
everybody gets to decide what's right for him- or herself.
It's not that at all. What it is, is
helping people at a critical and difficult time in their lives. It's also constructive community building. I'm not advocating telling our young people what
to wear or how to talk or what to do for a living. This
has to do with communicating the expectation of them having certain qualities, fundamental
qualities like compassion, honesty, generosity, patience, and courage. And if our young people enter adulthood working
toward having those qualities, then I consider them successful.
Any program, though, however good, is no magic bullet.
There's a lot of luck in parenting. Some
youths will have just an easier time of making the transition to adulthood than others. But we can offer some guidance to them. In strong coming of age programs, there are clear
values, help for the initiate, real challenges - even perceived danger, and when the
participants are done, they feel different. They
are recognized as being different; they're
treated differently. The process can be life
changing.
Now we keep talking about it being hard. Why
would we want to make becoming an adult so hard? Well,
it's already hard! And it's the most
important thing our young person have ever gone through ? it deserves all the effort it
takes. Teenagers have loads of energy and
creativity, and as David Bowie says, "They're quite aware of what they're going
through." It's actually a time of life
when big challenges can be a relief, at least if they have an idea what they're supposed
to do, and once they get out of bed. There's
already a sense of urgency, intensity, and importance ? just as in the hero quest, they
know they face danger; they feel the danger inherent in this time in their lives. They long to face that danger and feel mastery
over it. Think of Outward Bound! The difficulty and perceived danger of those
expeditions make them transforming for the participants.
It's no surprise, things being as they currently are, that many teens feel isolated and
misunderstood. Think of how people often talk
about them: expecting rudeness and
dishonesty, almost requiring rebellion and disrespect.
Think of how that would affect you. Of
course you'd seek your "own kind," if you didn't feel welcome with the rest of
humanity. But, in actuality, teenagers are
coming toward adults more than they're moving away. They're
becoming adults, just like us. In some more
primitive cultures, when young people are coming of age, their parents have a formal
ritual where they formally declare themselves to be old.
They become "old people" to make way for their young people in the world
of adults. Now, we don't have to do that; we
have plenty of good years left. But we do
have to move over a little. It's our job to
help make room for our young people in the adult world. The material culture supports the
idea of an impassible gulf between the generations. Businesses
profit from people being separated from each other because unhappy people buy more stuff. (pause) That's
a pretty cynical idea, but it's the truth that popular media don't support the idea that
adults and teenagers have a lot that's valuable to offer each other.
Well, I think we can help, individually and collectively.
You knew I
They are being called to adventure, they're finding their paths and facing dangers,
they're being transformed before our very eyes, and then, they're coming home to be
celebrated and welcomed and to share their gifts with us all.
KATHLEEN
The things I think help me the most to find my path are: lots of time, healthy
relationships with a whole lot of people, getting enough sleep, having discussions with
Mommy, traveling some, being exposed to a whole bunch of different beliefs and religions,
and equal exposure to crazy myths and complete rationalism.
I think it helps not to watch TV so I'm not trying to make myself fit the people I see on
television. It is a lot harder to build your
own person, but it feels a lot better than growing into a mold prepared by the media.It's
a must to have an adult to talk to. There is
nothing that compares to having mentor, a
trustable adult that you can confide in, and ask questions to, and who will listen to you.
Uncertainty is a big part of growing up. Weaknesses,
too.
Understanding that has helped me a lot in realizing myself, and growing up altogether. Asking big questions, being with my family,
singing, doing things for my church communities ? all of these are part of my hero quest,
part of my search, part of the continuing journey of finding out who I am and what I want
to do and be.
And I feel like with the support of an understanding community and a loving family, I
really can go wherever my heart leads me.
Amen,
Blessed Be